Kids say the darndest things. Especially if that kid is mine.
We just bid adieu to age 7, which was almost heartbreaking enough for me to consider having another child. (For the record, Mom, it's not happening.)
Thankfully, despite failing at most aspects of my never-ending quest to be Super Mom, I did manage to continue recording my favorite quotes from my son as they happened. (Spoiler alert: I did not manage to keep my kid from learning the word “crap.”)
Word to the wise: If you don't have a quote book, I highly recommend one. I use a mini journal small enough to fit in my most easily accessible kitchen drawer. Since Coop was old enough to talk, I've jotted down his funniest lines. It's a treasure trove of hilarity—those zingers you're sure you'll never forget … until 10 minutes later, when another one comes and you already can't remember exactly how he said yesterday's.
Here, I present Cooper's Age 7 Quotes of the Year:
“I think Noah or God or Jesus or one of Jesus' helpers just peed. Because a rain wouldn't be that short.” –Coop, analyzing a very short sprinkle
“I feel so alive!” –Coop, after hitting a golf ball particularly well
“What can't you touch?” –Coop, on his introduction to MC Hammer
“Probably the teacher was going to throw up after class.” –Coop, after hearing about naked yoga
“There are good teams. And there are bad teams. Then there's 50 feet of crap. Then there's the Iron Birds.” –Coop, quoting “Moneyball,” after going 0-2 to start the baseball season
“I've never had funner in my life!” –Coop, screaming from the back of a Jet Ski with Momma on vacation
“They should make Jesus out of chocolate.” –Coop, on Easter candies that seem more appropriate than bunnies
“I'm going to kick your intestines.” –Coop to his older brother Kyle, mistaking the organ for testicles
“My stress level is none.” –Coop, on the good life
“Your heart is mostly right. Your brain is mostly wrong. Sometimes they agree, but when they don't, listen to your heart.” –Coop, assuring Momma that Papaw will be OK
Kristy Eckert is a Powell mom and founder of Kristy Eckert Communications. You can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org.